I love the world wide web. It amazes me the stuff you can find cruising the internet. When I’m bored and browsing the web those are the times when I find “things”. For those that pay attention to detail. So normally I stress when I hear talk about me that is not true. For some reason the current talk about me is not stressing me in the least. The only thing I have to say about that is if people really know me, they know how I felt about my daddy. When we were young on the way to school we used to have to ride down sixth street where all the bums and drunks hung out. Kids used to always pick at people if they saw family or whoever on sixth street. There were times I would see my daddy and I wouldn’t say anything, prayed no one else saw him so they wouldn’t pick at me but as I got older I begin to not care if people saw him hanging out on sixth street. Everybody who knew my daddy knew he loved to drink. The way I began to see it is there were worse things he could have been doing. That was around the time crack got big. So I saw him being a drunk was way better than him being “coked out” or “cracked out”. There were times when if I wanted to see him all I had to do was go on sixth street. Prior to those times, when my momma and daddy were still together my daddy did no wrong in my eyes. Looking back I understand a whole lot now than I didn’t back then. I loved him and I didn’t care. My momma knew he was my favorite. I didn’t do it to spite her that’s just how it was. He spoiled me, gave me everything I asked for when I was little. I was clearly daddy’s little girl. I always wanted to go where ever he went, which was mostly up sixth street. I always loved my daddy. Sober, drunk, healthy and sick. He was known to curse you out and talk trash to you but he was never that way with me. I was his baby. And given that he and my momma hadn’t been together in almost 22 years, he still loved her. People try to be mean and say mean things about me and my momma but at the end of the day my daddy loved us. Nobody can take that away from us no matter how much they may not like it. Since Kim and Burnard don’t live here all the negativity gets thrown at me and my momma. It’s ok though. Like I said there worse things I could do. One thing about me, I don’t walk around here trying to be something I’m not, far from perfect and certainly don’t try to be. I’m a work in progress. I can say I’m in a much better place than where I was ten years ago. Hopefully ten years from now I’ll be in an even better place. I wish people would take the time to really get to know me. When you judge based on what you hear in the streets you already have your mind made up, you ain’t trying to reach your own conclusions about how that person really is. People continue to be a disappointment to me. Where is the love?
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