Happy Birthday, Daddy

Christmas morning early 80's 

My daddy would have been 70 years old today.  I miss him but I take so much comfort knowing he’s in a better place. I just think about the conversations we had over the last few years and listening to him talk I could relate to him. He never really said it but I knew he was in a lot of pain emotionally.  That’s why it was so easy for me to find peace when he died.  This world can be so cruel and I think he was tired for feeling that hurt all time. He told me he thought it was punishment for all wrong he did to my mom.  I tried to convince him otherwise but I’ve felt that way about my  life too.  By him being in the nursing home and away from his family and friends it was easier for him to be down on himself. My momma was the love of his life and when she left his life was basically already over. I think it would have helped if my momma would have gone to see him.  She didn’t and I know she had her reasons.  I don’t have an opinion about that. My dad’s side of the family will be celebrating my aunt’s (his twin sister) birthday on Saturday.  We got an invite but we won’t be able to make it. Part of me would love to be there but only out of spite.  Just to see who says what or who gives me dirty looks. I wouldn’t care. Technically, I didn’t do anything wrong. I know how my daddy felt about me and my momma. I know what he would have wanted for me and my momma. You can take material things but you can’t take away the love he had for me. That means more to me than anything. No matter what he loved me and I loved him.  He would make me mad sometimes because he was hard-headed but he was still my daddy. That’s what he would say to me if he wanted me to do something I didn’t want to do, normally giving him a half a pint. I have really good memories of my daddy when I was small. He spoiled me, he let me aggravate him, he let me play in his hair, he was my favorite. I was a true “Daddy’s Little Girl” and still is, as long as my heart beats. I posted this picture because to me these were our family’s good times. I can hear him right now saying “Bob-by Joe”. Lil Bobby Joe is who I am and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Happy Birthday, Daddy. Forever Rest in Peace. I love you, then now and always Netanyia Golden Samuel