I don’t like
to be messy and I let the Lord fight my battles but who says I can’t speak on a
situation that boils my blood. For 17 years Avalon has never put forth the
effort to be a father to my daughter. I,
at times have reached out to him to try and establish some type of relationship
but hell it’s not my job to make sure he do his part. I’d even give him the benefit of the doubt,
thinking he didn’t know how to be a father given he and his dad didn’t have the
best relationship. But then I tell myself,
I got to be to my children what I didn’t have.
My child ain’t one of these lil chicks you deal with in the street. You supposed to reach out to her, you’re the
adult, it’s on you build a foundation with your child. He be waiting on her to
call and reach to him. She at the point
where she doesn’t even bother because when she does talk to him he tells her he
coming to see her and never show up. Since Ms. Shirley (She did good by La when
she was working at Sonoco. La birthdays were like Christmas. Good Woman) been
gone I’ve treated Avalon like a stranger on the street. He reached out to La and I was thinking, ok
he finally ready to stop being stupid.
But no he still on some old BS. Blaming me for why everything is so messed
up between us. Why are you still on that? Yeah, I hurt your pride so what, my
child is bigger than your pride. I want to shake him and tell him it’s not
about me and what I did to you. Truth be told he messed everything up cause his
then girlfriend (whom he neglected to tell me about) flatten my car tires. Him not acknowledging his responsibility is a
classic sign of immaturity. Until he ready to assume responsibility for what
happened we will get nowhere. He wouldn’t
even come talk to Adrianna. Don’t like the truth. I don’t want to bash Avalon.
My daughter knows what he is/ain’t. I don’t have to say anything. Unlike Avalon, Uncle B is totally different.
I can call on him if I need him. We have
a good relationship with him and that’s fine with me. I refuse to let Avalon treat my child any
type of way. You not going to be saying
sweet nothings and in and out of her life.
Boy had the audacity to ask me, do you know who you talking to? I was
like what? Nah, do you know who you talking to? I could give a rat’s behind
about him. You don’t run nothing over
this way. Adrianna been good for 17
years. You can pay your lil change for 6
more months and keep it moving, bruh. $33.00 a week. No Christmas or birthday
gifts the last two years. The only thing he consistent at is not doing. I promise my daughter will know the
difference between a good man and a deadbeat. She will know what real love is. Not
to settle for less than. Avalon don’t even realize what he’s unintentionally
teaching my child. I got to make sure
she knows her worth. I already had my mind made up about Adrianna and Avalon
relationship until he started that wishy-washy attitude with my child. I wanted to stay out of it; he still broken
and he’s not bringing that toxicity around my child. She already got a lot going on with school. As
long as he got his issues it’s never going to get right. He needs therapy. Adrianna does love him though. He probably
doesn’t even know how to receive love. I
know I tried and failed. The Lord sees what's going on and He will work it out.
UPDATE April 18, 2018
Avalon comes up a lot in La therapy sessions. Avalon is clearly upset with me about how things went down when I was pregnant. As I said I really thought he was over all that. Until recently we have gotten along good. Now I understand his anger with me is why he treats Adrianna the way he does. He can't differentiate me from her. She looks just like me of course but she didn't do anything to him. She did tell him she hated him once but it was because she felt he was treating her like a stepchild. Hell what kid doesn't hate their parents at times. She was angry and she had a right to be but he so sensitive he took it to heart. She has been apologized but I feel that meant nothing to him. She said he always treated his other kids better than her. Rolled his eyes and sighed with aggravation once when she asked him for money for food or something simple. She was in kindergarten and elementary then. She notice this at an early age. La has a very good memory so I do believe her. I had no idea it was so bad. She also told me that Tara had a lot to do with the way Avalon treat her. It was a problem if her child was there when La was there. Knowing how Avalon is about people and status, I know this true. No one will ever come before my child, EVER!!! He a punk for that. Tara was a cheerleader in school so for him to have a child with her is huge thing in his eyes. He was a what I considered a NOBODY and I treated him as a nobody. Never spoke to him, never held a conversation with him and if I did it was to talk trash and remind him of his place. Eventually I lowered my standards. Moo-Moo laughed at me when he found out about us. He wanted better for me. I remember how Avalon complained to me because Tara wouldn't let him see their child. He was really upset about it. I was thinking, damn my child would love to spend time with you. She loved to have a daddy daughter relationship with you. I didn't say anything to him. That's when I never questioned him about anything he did. The therapist also felt that Avalon felt inferior to Moo-Moo. That's Avalon's insecurity and I believe that because he was so insecure. I remember him getting mad at me for sitting outside with a skirt on. I will admit Moo-Moo and I had a strong relationship for years after we broke up but if Avalon would have done right by me Moo-Moo would have never been an issue. Avalon's dad told me he used to get picked on in school when he was a kid so I feel like that plays a huge part in his insecurities. He puts on a front like he got it together but this dude is weak.
UPDATE - November 17, 2018
Anyone who bashes their own disable, depressed child is worse than weak. I don't know the name of it but Avalon Davis is surely it. He lashed out at Adrianna (when I wasn't around) saying she likes to fight and she is a bad example for "his" daughter which is why he don't want Adrianna around her. As if Adrianna isn't his daughter too. He completely tore her down. Who does that? What father does that to his daughter. He supposed to be showing her what love is. Protecting her from the mean people who see her as "different", not join in. I kept saying that I won't get involved in their stuff but he crossed the line. I don't care who it is no one will treat my child like trash. As far as Adrianna and I are concerned that whatever it was is officially over. It should have been over but she wanted so much to be loved by her daddy, she kept trying. It breaks my heart as a mother I can't do anything about how he treats her. As I said before he's mad at me. He don't even know Adrianna. He described me. I was the one that fought in high school and it was never by choice, I had to defend myself. Of all the fights I been in I started one fight. La like to run her mouth but she's defending herself. She scary and will try to diffuse a situation when she see it's getting to that point. She was in one fight and didn't hit back. She's been bullied since elementary because of her disabilities and for Avalon to dog her like that is unacceptable. I was so angry he hurt her. I wanted to get back at him by extending his child support. He is still obligated because she is disable. When I let him know what to expect he was not happy. More concerned about getting someone to beat me up like we still in high school. You 40 something years old, you childish. It goes to show he got issues just like I thought. He trying to make he feel bad but he too dumb to realize what he says about me is irrelevant. He can bash me all day, his opinion doesn't not matter to me. Junior killed that a long time ago. Avalon tried to intimidate me with lawyer talk but the law is on my side. I would have never said anything had I not did my homework. I'm good about my business. I taunted him, your lawyer can't help you. That night I was thinking whether I should pursue the ongoing child support or not. The next night was revival and the message changed my mind. I'm so mad at him for how he treated my child but I want to be a sower of good seeds. I need the money but I also would be doing it out of spite. I don't want that negativity blocking any blessings God has for me. Like before I can speak on it because its my right. My feelings matter to me and I like to talk about things sometimes. Besides you can't win against ignorance. I don't even try. I'm sure he thinks his lawyer quashed my request. Ignorance, I tell you. God is going to really have to give me strength not to say anything to him when I see him. He's a punk so I know he'll go word for word with me. When he threaten to get me beat up, I let him know she better kill me. Told me I wasn't about that life even though I got war wounds. No, I'm not about that life anymore because I'm grown. The war wounds represent that I wasn't scared. Always had more courage than him. You sold drugs, you got guns but you ain't about that street life either. He won't go toe-to-toe with anybody. Boy bye. Even after all he's done, Adrianna would still give him a kidney if he needed it.
UPDATE April 18, 2018
Avalon comes up a lot in La therapy sessions. Avalon is clearly upset with me about how things went down when I was pregnant. As I said I really thought he was over all that. Until recently we have gotten along good. Now I understand his anger with me is why he treats Adrianna the way he does. He can't differentiate me from her. She looks just like me of course but she didn't do anything to him. She did tell him she hated him once but it was because she felt he was treating her like a stepchild. Hell what kid doesn't hate their parents at times. She was angry and she had a right to be but he so sensitive he took it to heart. She has been apologized but I feel that meant nothing to him. She said he always treated his other kids better than her. Rolled his eyes and sighed with aggravation once when she asked him for money for food or something simple. She was in kindergarten and elementary then. She notice this at an early age. La has a very good memory so I do believe her. I had no idea it was so bad. She also told me that Tara had a lot to do with the way Avalon treat her. It was a problem if her child was there when La was there. Knowing how Avalon is about people and status, I know this true. No one will ever come before my child, EVER!!! He a punk for that. Tara was a cheerleader in school so for him to have a child with her is huge thing in his eyes. He was a what I considered a NOBODY and I treated him as a nobody. Never spoke to him, never held a conversation with him and if I did it was to talk trash and remind him of his place. Eventually I lowered my standards. Moo-Moo laughed at me when he found out about us. He wanted better for me. I remember how Avalon complained to me because Tara wouldn't let him see their child. He was really upset about it. I was thinking, damn my child would love to spend time with you. She loved to have a daddy daughter relationship with you. I didn't say anything to him. That's when I never questioned him about anything he did. The therapist also felt that Avalon felt inferior to Moo-Moo. That's Avalon's insecurity and I believe that because he was so insecure. I remember him getting mad at me for sitting outside with a skirt on. I will admit Moo-Moo and I had a strong relationship for years after we broke up but if Avalon would have done right by me Moo-Moo would have never been an issue. Avalon's dad told me he used to get picked on in school when he was a kid so I feel like that plays a huge part in his insecurities. He puts on a front like he got it together but this dude is weak.
UPDATE - November 17, 2018
Anyone who bashes their own disable, depressed child is worse than weak. I don't know the name of it but Avalon Davis is surely it. He lashed out at Adrianna (when I wasn't around) saying she likes to fight and she is a bad example for "his" daughter which is why he don't want Adrianna around her. As if Adrianna isn't his daughter too. He completely tore her down. Who does that? What father does that to his daughter. He supposed to be showing her what love is. Protecting her from the mean people who see her as "different", not join in. I kept saying that I won't get involved in their stuff but he crossed the line. I don't care who it is no one will treat my child like trash. As far as Adrianna and I are concerned that whatever it was is officially over. It should have been over but she wanted so much to be loved by her daddy, she kept trying. It breaks my heart as a mother I can't do anything about how he treats her. As I said before he's mad at me. He don't even know Adrianna. He described me. I was the one that fought in high school and it was never by choice, I had to defend myself. Of all the fights I been in I started one fight. La like to run her mouth but she's defending herself. She scary and will try to diffuse a situation when she see it's getting to that point. She was in one fight and didn't hit back. She's been bullied since elementary because of her disabilities and for Avalon to dog her like that is unacceptable. I was so angry he hurt her. I wanted to get back at him by extending his child support. He is still obligated because she is disable. When I let him know what to expect he was not happy. More concerned about getting someone to beat me up like we still in high school. You 40 something years old, you childish. It goes to show he got issues just like I thought. He trying to make he feel bad but he too dumb to realize what he says about me is irrelevant. He can bash me all day, his opinion doesn't not matter to me. Junior killed that a long time ago. Avalon tried to intimidate me with lawyer talk but the law is on my side. I would have never said anything had I not did my homework. I'm good about my business. I taunted him, your lawyer can't help you. That night I was thinking whether I should pursue the ongoing child support or not. The next night was revival and the message changed my mind. I'm so mad at him for how he treated my child but I want to be a sower of good seeds. I need the money but I also would be doing it out of spite. I don't want that negativity blocking any blessings God has for me. Like before I can speak on it because its my right. My feelings matter to me and I like to talk about things sometimes. Besides you can't win against ignorance. I don't even try. I'm sure he thinks his lawyer quashed my request. Ignorance, I tell you. God is going to really have to give me strength not to say anything to him when I see him. He's a punk so I know he'll go word for word with me. When he threaten to get me beat up, I let him know she better kill me. Told me I wasn't about that life even though I got war wounds. No, I'm not about that life anymore because I'm grown. The war wounds represent that I wasn't scared. Always had more courage than him. You sold drugs, you got guns but you ain't about that street life either. He won't go toe-to-toe with anybody. Boy bye. Even after all he's done, Adrianna would still give him a kidney if he needed it.
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