Everyday I read blog after blog about relationships. What to do, what not to do, how to tell if he really care about you or is just using you. I think relationships really aren’t that difficult. People make them difficult by trying to “play the game”. If you got two people who genuinely like each other and want to be in an exclusive relationship it easier to deal with issues that may come up. But when you got guys lying and playing the role like they want exclusivity but out there playing that same role with Jane, Jill, and Sue that’s when you got problems. I think all a guy has to do is be honest with every girl he dealing with so there’s no miscommunication. I rather you tell me the truth even if it’s going to hurt me. If you respect me and care about my feelings the best thing you can do for me is to be honest. I rather deal with the short term pain of truth than the long term pain that’s caused by consistent lies. Women think all men are dogs and nowadays a lot of men think all women can’t be trusted. We going into relationships automatically assuming we have to watch our backs. I think relationships should be entered into free and clear of the crap you might have gone through in your last relationship. Sooner or later a person’s true colors will show and then you form the opinion of rather that person is right or wrong for you. What I hate is taking the risk and the person ends up being trash just like the others but without the risk you have nothing. You safe from the pain that relationships can cause but you ain’t happy cause you want love in your life. I think as soon as you get your first red flag you should get out right then. Don’t make excuses or try to justify why you should keep seeing dude. Red flags can be determined by a number of things. Conversation is key. When you’re just having casual conversations pay attention to every little detail. If in a subsequent conversation he contradicting everything he said in the first conversation, he maybe a liar. Another sign is the cellphone. If he consistently looking at or checking his phone that could be a sign of another women in his life. If a man is really into you he’s going to give you all of his attention when he’s with you. There are so many red flags women just have to be smart enough to recognize what they are. If you have a feeling in you gut that something isn’t right with dude don’t let him try to make you think you crazy, jealous, or insecure. That’s them trying to manipulate you and we fall for it a lot especially when we head over heels in love. Always trust your intuition that’s a gift that God gave us. So if dude happens to pass all the tests and he’s worthy then you fall in love with him but he gets ignorant and starts to dog you; communicate with dude about how your feeling. If he cares he’ll reassure you and do what he has to do to make things right with you and keep it that way. Love ain’t easy and it requires work. Life would be so easy if all men could be like that but that don’t happen too much these days. After you tell him how you’re feeling and he doesn’t change he may not be feeling the love anymore. He maybe bored and ready to move on. If that’s the case you have to be women enough to walk away from it. As they say if it’s meant to be it will be. If he crying and fighting to make you stay you can’t just say ok and go back cause two weeks later it will be a repeat. Once you get tried of being on repeat the best thing you can do for a guy like that is to act like you don’t care. As much as you want to see him and be with him you have to show him that you deserve better than what he’s been giving you and if he can’t give you better let him know you will not settle. If you breakdown and go back you will be on repeat sooner or later. Women get in these relationships and they give all the power to a man. God blessed us with some many gifts. Men are supposed to be like putty in our hands. God made us perfectly so that we should have men wrapped around our fingers but we fail to recognize and use our powers. I think a man should only get two chances in a relationship, three at the most. If he mess up the first time but he’s sincerely sorry and vows to never hurt you again I think he should be forgiven. Punish him and make him sweat for a few days but I think he should be forgiven. We all mess up sometimes but that is when you lay it on the line that if he does it again it’s over. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. If he messes up twice it’s time to really evaluate this dude. Is he worthy? I’m I truly happy in this relationship? Is it worth saving? Does he care? You have to dig deep within yourself, your dude, and your relationship. Are you staying because you don’t want to be alone or is it because he truly loves you and you both think you can make it work? That’s a decision that should take a lot of thought before it’s made. If you go back again it could go either way, be on repeat or live happily ever after. If you love yourself enough you will know when it’s time to leave. No one deserves to be in a bullshit relationship. Love done the right way is not supposed to hurt. Bottom line if you in love and you’re hurting in your relationship it’s fucked up, it’s not love. Don’t get love confused. The dictionary defines love as a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. No where does it say hurt or pain. I have been in jacked up relationships all my life. Reading all those blogs have been helping me realize a lot of things I’ve done wrong. Things I know that are wrong and still continue to do. I’m working on it though. I just gave myself the best advice ever on relationships. The questions is will I follow through. I’m going to try my best. The key is to never settle for less than what you're looking for. Don’t let “in the meantime” get you. Like, well I’ll deal with him “in the meantime” until someone better comes along. That doesn’t help and it only makes the situation worst. I know from experience. Oh and don't ever date down. Dating someone who you consider is beneath you thinking he'll be more appreciative of you. That doesn't work either. You have to be happy in your choice and the only way to be happy in your choice is to never settle.
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