Ayana Ellis is gifted. We can feel it but we can't always articulate it.
Life happens regardless of your mood. Time keeps on slipping into
the future no matter what it is that you’re trying to do and Love never
lasts if you’re half assed to you…
So the relationships keep failing. And you keep telling yourself,
there are no good (wo)men out there. And so quite naturally you give up
on love and people in general. For the life of you, you just can’t
find someone to LOVE YOU. It’s just not working! You get all excited
when you meet someone but then shortly after, the romance fizzles out.
And you can list 100 reasons why this person didn’t last. So many things
they did wrong, so many issues they had that you just could not deal with. Every little thing they
did annoyed you. The excuses as to why your love life is a revolving
door is a long list of fuckery. And the common thread is that, it’s never you. You’re never the problem right?
But deep down you know that it is you. For whatever reason, you are
scared, you don’t love yourself enough, therefore you don’t attract
love, it’s really that simple. You treat yourself half-assed so you
attract half-assed people into your life. Nine times out of ten you’re a
people pleaser and instead of being you and being accepted, you choose
to be what everyone wants you to be out of fear of being rejected.
You may very well be a good person and have a good heart. But the
layers of negativity, low self-esteem, cynicism, heartache etc. covers
up your desire, need and vulnerability which are all essential to
attracting love. Putting a wall up to see who cares enough to break it
down is bullshit. Nobody has time for all that. To receive love you have
to, in some way, be vulnerable. You can’t “Front” like you’re a good
woman or man, you can’t front like your “ready” just to attract a
relationship, because it will fail. The real you
and what you harbor inside will be so evident and you won’t even know
it. You think your hiding it, but the person you are in the situation
with will notice it, they will FEEL it, they can see it in your eyes, in
your touch, in your words. You cannot hide the darkness inside of you
no matter how much that you think you are. It’s sort of like dogs and
humans. Dogs sense fear, happiness, danger…. And when you “prey” on
people to attract them into your life for the wrong reasons, it’s only a
matter of time before they smell your bullshit.
And so now instead of getting your shit together, you claim that it’s other people, you make a Broadway production out of “other people’s issues”
in an attempt to hide your own. And though some people may be fooled,
hell, even all may be fooled, the bottom line and the sad part about it
is that you have to live with the fact that not only is it YOU that is
the cause of your loneliness but you’re weak for defaming someone else’s
character in an attempt to defend and hide your own. Regardless of
what you say about past lovers, the bottom line is none of them are with
you, because of you. And this is why lonely won’t leave you alone…
You are constantly filling your body with empty calories, all kinds
of junk, to temporarily fill you up, but within moments, you’re empty
again…. When all you have to do is stop, be real with yourself and
embrace the fact that you need to change and when you do! You will lose
weight, meaning empty people, spot fillers, vultures, because we all
know vultures only surround dying things. So don’t be fooled or content
with having many people around you, when in fact this is not a great
thing but a dangerous thing for you will never have time to see yourself
if you’re constantly hidden by everyone else.
Lonely won’t leave you alone because you attract lonely empty hearted
people. You have to fill yourself up with pride, esteem of self, love
and lots of it! You have to know how to be content in solidarity, you
have to know how to not depend on man, but one’s self. You have to put
away childish things, be a man/woman not just by gender but by
lifestyle. You have to close the door on many things and open up just
one or two doors for it is quality not quantity that matters in life.
You do not have commitment issues. The fact of the matter is no one
is trying to commit to you because you aren’t even committed to
yourself. So take off the mask, look in the mirror and see if you can
stand the sight of your own reflection. Do you smile at yourself when
you see your image? Or do you frown, grab make up, immediately start
brushing your hair and pinching at your love handles. Do you get
depressed when you’re alone, so you call up anybody to come keep you
company or do you run from home to home, door step to doorstep for
company? Or do you relax, breathe easy and bask in the ambience of your
own great energy because you love you!!!! Do you surround yourself with
“single” men that have no respect for women, to hide the fact that you
don’t love yourself enough to attract a good woman? Are you a womanizer,
jumping from woman to woman, degrading them in an attempt to make the
masses believe that you are so great, that you can’t settle down because
these women aren’t good enough?
Lonely would leave you alone if you stopped inviting it into your home.
Love yourself, be content with yourself, rejoice in yourself and then
and only then will you be able to attract the greatness aka the mirror
image of you. If you are uncomfortable in solidarity then you will be
unsuccessful in attracting a significant other. It is IMPOSSIBLE to
receive love if you do not love yourself. You’re just gonna attract
flies to shit chile. I mean don’t you ever want more?
BE GREAT!
http://byayanaellis.com/
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