Shot of Tequila

Pretty & Prissy

Nay Samuel

“When you started talking to Mutley, I wasn’t as attracted to you as I was before. You’re better than that.” -Dude

This is what an admirer said to me. He went on to say “I see you as wife material and I’ve always wanted you but you started dealing with him.” Dude made me blush a little. I often wonder if I’m still desirable so that made me feel good, like I still got it. I try my best not to judge people so when I heard this I was quick to defend Mutley. I let him know that in spite of Mutley’s past I can say he was the first guy to make me feel worthy. I hadn’t had a real boyfriend since 1999. Everyone I’ve dealt with was about games. Mutley put me on his arm and was proud to have me.  He made feel “apart” and that is something that is very important to me. Even though we only lasted five months he gave me something no one else felt I was worthy enough to have, that girlfriend title. He may not have been worthy of me but up until a certain point he respected and appreciated me. In the past I’ve given a guy a chance based on the thought, "he’s not on my level but maybe he’ll treat me better". Not to say I’m all that but it’s just the way I carry myself. It’s Mutley’s past that made dude think I was too good for him. I knew of his ways but I threw all that out the window. I have a past too. In relationships I start with a clean slate. There are guys that won’t deal with girls if they’ve had a certain number of sex partners. I have three baby daddies. Let some guys tell it, I’m damaged goods. I’m just a good time girl; no man will ever wife me. I don’t believe that. I believe in love and I have faith that one day I'll find it. Everyone has their own opinion of “standards”. I have standards but they aren’t based on petty things like dating a man with children. I wouldn’t count him out unless he’s a deadbeat. There are a lot of factors that come into play when finding a mate. You don’t know a person’s story until you get to know them. Everything isn’t always what it seems and I’m living proof of that. When dude said I was better than that he made me feel like ok she can't be wife material because she dealing with a guy like that. Just because I chose Mutley didn’t make me any different than I was before. Dude based his opinions on speculation. If he really knew me he would have understood my choice. You have to listen so you can understand. Men don’t agree but it’s hard trying to sift through all the rotten apples. Most of the time we get tricked. Men lie to you, make you believe they want to give you the love you’re worthy of and in the end they dogg you. I’ve fallen for it too many times. You are left stuck and alone. You are used and damaged. Then you start all over again. Mutley wasn't going anywhere; he knew what he had. I asked him to leave. He had certain ways I thought were selfish. He also got too comfortable. He knew how much being in a relationship meant to me. I think he thought that I was going conform to his ways in spite of our difference in opinions of what a relationship should be. Even though I don't like being single, I don’t regret ending it. I know what I want in a relationship even with my past and my three baby daddies I feel I deserve the best. I know who I am and the gifts I have to offer. I can’t settle. I know my worth but I learned it the hard way. I know I’m not every guys cup of tea. I’m a shot of tequila and it takes a strong man to handle a chick like me.