Life as usual September 2017

I guess I need to be taking this time to post a blog. As usual nothing is going on just a bunch or trials and tests. Still waiting and searching. For the most part understanding life. Only thing I really know to do for sure is trust in my Lord and Savior. I can’t go wrong with that. Trying to figure out what to write about is hard when I’ve been held up in my house. Don’t get it wrong for one second, I’m happy. Never been more at peace. I don’t need any company; trust me Adrianna is more than enough. She doesn’t like staying home. I wish she had friends like I did when I was her age. I stayed gone. I think of some of the things I was doing and I’m glad she be home. I did have good clean fun too. I think she is easily influenced by friends. She acts like she straight laced but that around me.  One person in particular think I'm depressed because I’m not working and be home all the time. I keep telling people when I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown it was because of work. I wanted to get rid of every responsibility I could so I could be at peace. I have achieved that, I’m good now. I choose to be home, alone, in my refuge. I truly don’t have the energy to deal with people sometimes. Sometimes I don't have the energy to get up and do social activities. Too much peopling. And I get offended when people don’t understand when I say No. I hate pressure. When I say no don’t try to convince me, to me it’s a lack of respect for my feelings. I’m grown also I do what I want. When I get ready for something different I will do something different. Hartsville has nothing to offer me which is another reason I stay in. It’s too basic for me. 25 years ago, I loved it here.  Young and didn’t know better. It was fun then. I’m on a different level know. I like different things, different crowds, different experiences. The only thing I can do in Hartsville is get a room, eat good food, have good drinks and chill. I love that hotel life. You can at least pretend your miles away from home. I even got La spoiled. She be ready. We looking forward to our lil trip to Myrtle Beach. We couldn’t go this summer. It’s so expensive. I used to be able to get 3-bedroom condo for under $400 dollars one time. Now the price is quadrupled. We can only afford the off season. It’s South Carolina so the winters are fair. I do need to give the beach a rest. Every time I do have some money that’s where I always go. Charlotte is better as far as things to do, Columbia coming up again too. Jay coming to CLT in November, I hear early bday gift. Just left Baltimore a few weeks ago. Woody passed away. That was a huge blow. So unexpected because he was set to retire from the Army. He served in Afghanistan and Iraq. He made it out only to return home and get hit by a damn car. Lord, I can’t question that but it’s crazy. It was a very sad funeral. Woody was good people. I wish I could have got up and spoke at his funeral. Just wanted to tell people how he would go out in Hartsville by himself and people knew him like he lived here. Hanging out with Boobie and being introduced to his friends. He was going out when he came to town, all he needed to know was where the party at. It’s amazing that people remembered him. He was good where ever he went. When he was in Hartsville he was Southside. The repass was at a hotel so alcohol could be served. Then there was a block party at his mom house. That wasn’t planned but it was “so Woody”. I know he was smiling down. Don’t cry for me. I want my going away to be a party. No sadness. If you want to show me love do it now while I’m living.