Not NICE Netanyia

Our spot in Society Hill. 
Feeling a little selfish today. I woke up in a bad mood. You know that’s bad. First thing I see is a HMD from someone I loathe. As much as I tell this person to leave me alone they too stupid to understand.  It makes me angry because I don’t like you but you continue to try when you can’t win with me.  I guess that’s exactly how Junior feels about me. I may reach out to Junior but he don’t know because I’m blocked. He won’t even answer from an unknown number. That’s another reason why I’m upset because I know he can make everything better. Even though I hate HMD messages, one from him would make me feel better. Some money would really make me feel better. I feel I can never have it may way. Everything I want right now eludes me. My days can never be the way I want and I have no control over it. Junior birthday was Wednesday, I just wanted to get a glance. I haven’t seen in three years. Right now I’m at the church cause I just want a little peace. Church was good. I began to feel better. Elder made that hole go away for a moment. That’s what church is all about; when you amongst people and you feel good about being there. They bring your spirits up. I was the liturgist today. My momma rather I do since I can flow with no hiccups. I want someone else to step up for a change. Let God use someone else for a change. I really didn’t mind doing the children’s message though but when I came to counting money that’s when everything went south for me. I got flustered and couldn’t think properly. Its happened plenty of times but this time I was mad because I really shouldn't have been in there. I had too many hats on and it made me feel resentful towards the officers that don’t do the work. A title don’t mean nothing if you don’t do anything with it. I love my church, I love doing God’s work in my church. I want to do things because I feel like it not because no one else steps up. I hate to see how things will be when I do become elder. I promise it’s going to be some changes. I’m glad I decided to write. I really needed to vent. As for everyday life, I’m trying to figure out how to pursue a Master’s Degree in Theological Studies. It’s a two year program designed for people who want to have the education to work in a church but not preaching. I don’t want to preach. I feel my true calling is Church Law which we call Polity in the Presbyterian Church. It’s just like politics. We abide by Book of Order. It’s our form of government in the PC. My obstacle right now is location. The school I need to attend is in Georgia. I need to get a job, so I can get car.  Then I’d have to move. That’s scary for me cause I’ve been in Hartsville all my life.  I keep saying I want to leave, Thinking about it, I don’t want to leave for good. I love my church and I do plan always be a member here. I can leave for two years and come back. I may even find my husband. He sure ain't around these parts.  La don’t know it but she needs a change too. DCSD has pulled another whammy on her. I swear I wish I could sue them. The first time I had them dead to rites but not so much this time. They need to be more compassionate with students. They don’t understand how they are failing these kids. No matter how much you may plead your case. They look at policy. You may fool some parents but Netanyia going to make sure her child is protected. I don’t have to follow any policy, I’m grown. I guess I’ll go get some Mother’s Day dinner now. I’m hungry and ready to go home. It’s too hot to be in this heat.