Going Backwards..Not Good.

Lil gal you got to run your own life, but my life's running me.

 

I’ve been feeling like I’m headed back to where I was three years ago. Like I got too much going on or not making enough time for proper rest. When I get home I rarely do any house work or cook. It might be once a week and it’s normally early in the week. By Wednesday, my body is too weary to do anything. I try to rest on the weekend but sometimes, like the past two weekends I’ve been busy. People think I’m sleeping my life away but I’m taking care of me, so I can take care of my responsibilities and priorities. When I’m expected to be somewhere, I’ll be able to show up. Cause I can’t take hearing anyone complain about my absence. I swear I feel like everyone is excused except me. I’m feeling it with church too. I really think I got too much on my plate. I hear they bout to find a volunteer to do my job. I wish they hurry up. I’ll miss the money but nothing’s like having free time to do nothing. I’m so frustrated with my church. Its like everyone is exempt from the rules but me. I love my church, but everything is messed up. I promise I want to quit going just because it be so hard to overlook all the wrong that’s going on. I just want us to follow the BOO and FOG. That’s all. I think I’m overall frustrated because I feel I have no control over my life again. This is nothing new. I’m just existing. No one understands. They say that do but they can save that. Can I Live? Lord, I know you got plans for me, but you know my heart. You are the only one that listens to understand. Help me.