Netanyia Golden Samuel loves Isiah Hudley, Jr. this 6th day of December in the year of 2023. I keep saying for my birthday I want to see him. I don’t need to say anything to him. I just want to witness his beautiful presence and say, “there goes My Hero, My Man, My Love”. I always loved to just look at him. It made him uncomfortable. I just couldn’t help it. I was amazed by him, mesmerized by his aura. I’d give almost anything to feel his tenderness. Me sitting between his legs with his arms wrapped around me. My head on his chest, my face touching his. His soft kisses on my temple. His hands on my thighs. I can hear him saying, “you know you my baby”. Remembering him when he tell me he’ll never forget. Believing when we were apart, he was missing me. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I knew this would be hard to deal with. Especially having to restrain from acting on my emotions. Every single day I say, “I miss my man” or “I need my man”. It so hard because it’s not like he’s dead. He is 40 minutes down the road. I think my car stays down just so I can’t waste my gas going to his town. I used to go once a month. Anyway, I was bored and thinking about him. This is a tough month for him. His dad died on Dec. 10.A grandmother he loved dearly passed Dec. 27. Then it’s my birthday that I’m sure he tries not to think of. Maybe he did forget that. The one bright thing is his son’s birthday which is Dec. 8. I'm done, peace out. What do the lonely do at Christmas? I love decorating but other than that it’s just another shitty day in suck city. Bah motherfucking hum-bug.
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