Love Comes

It’s been a minute since I last wrote something for my blog. Things have been good for me. One time I felt the world was against me. I was going through it. When I got evicted that was the kicker. I had been down before but never like that.  Malloy did a number on me. First being firing me then kicking me out his house. He denied me getting unemployment. He had the nerve to tell me he’d give me a recommendation. I don’t want nothing for you. I wanted to go in on him but I’m glad I didn’t. He already called me typical. I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. I want to see him though. I want him to look me in my eyes.  As they say one monkey don’t stop no show. In his case let’s replace monkey with asshole. Anyway, as I said I’ve been good. I am happy to say when it comes to Junior it doesn’t hurt anymore. In fact, I’ve finally let go and moved on. I have been filled with the time and attention I so greatly desire. I don’t want to get carried away. In the past I’ve thought I had finally found my something special and he turned out to be a toad.

I’m not going into detail about it right now. It’s too soon. My sister always said keep somethings to yourself. Just me mentioning it is bad enough. We are taking things slow. Lord willing, we have got plenty of time. Now I just need to find a place to stay. I’ve been with my momma since September 1 and she is tired of us. She not used to people staying this long. For me I like my own space. She has a lot of rules. I itch when I go to the restroom and when I fix something to eat. I know it’s my OCD. I cringed at the things I see sometimes. He’ll I was like that on Sumter Avenue. I don’t correct nothing because she set in her ways. I’m not trying to disturb anything. It’s reasons she does the things she do and I’m not messing with nothing of hers. As far as the dude that was in my lift, I want to be done with him. He is not worthy of me. I almost feel obligated because he’s done so much for me. Lately he has been slacking. He just gives instructions. I don’t want that. I want him to do it. He is always doing something for someone else. He had o ne job Tuesday and he half assed at that. What do I need him for. He acted as if I didn’t break things off with him. I’ve told him many times. I can’t with him.  He always act like nothing’s a big deal. I don’t want him. Not interested in any way. He is not worthy. Nothing has changed with Kash. Luckily, I saw they were having a book fair. I went to the school so he could get something. He was happy. He told me they block me. He called me a few times from a tablet. I’d watch him play the game. My boy so grown up. I love him. I always used to feel like something was missing. I felt lost. It is not the case anymore. My lonely days are gone. It’s a much better feeling. Long time coming. Thank you, Lord. I love you.