Today my nephew has been gone for two years. I’ve always wrote about my daddy and Robin on the day they passed. I was thinking about Tank this morning and my mind wandered to an incident that happened at our family reunion. Tank had done something wrong and of course he was very upset. When he got mad it was hard calming him down. Especially if you were against him and trying to make him feel bad; he wasn’t trying to hear anything you had to say. In the moment, I realized the reason why he got so upset was because no one was listening to him. Tank didn’t have a problem owning up to what he did. He just wanted people to know why he reacted the he way did. He felt he was well within his right for his actions. He had been done wronged so he retaliated. We don’t always use our best judgment when we handle situations. Tank was able to connect with people who were the outcast or the underdog. I think he may have felt he was an outcast in someway. It’s hard growing up in Hartsville as a young black male if you don’t have the structured, traditional family. If he saw someone being treated wrong he was quick to come their defense because he know how it felt. He had that connection with my daughter as well. He could see that people gave her a hard time, didn’t take the time to listen to her so he always made sure he gave her that extra attention when he saw her. At the family reunion when everyone was riding him about what he done I saw the anger in him and I saw the sadness in him. I saw that all he wanted was for someone to hear and understand him. Someone to take his side for once; someone who didn’t make he feel like he’s always messing up. It’s like, “you hear me but do you really feel me” I keep saying you have to know how to approach people. You don’t know what they can be going through. We need to be more compassionate of people’s situations and more considerate of their feelings. When you really want to say “tighten up”, you shouldn’t because for them it ain’t always so simple. I’m glad I took the time for Tank. I’m glad he could come to me and ask me for help when he needed it. Someone like Tank isn’t going to ask just anybody for help. He was prideful just like the average man. He’s only going to come to you if he knows he can rely on you and you care about his well-being. Now I can’t say that I was always able to calm him down when he got upset. I wanted to keep him from getting into trouble with the law. Anything else, I stayed out of it. He believed, if you disrespected him he didn’t have to respect you no matter who you were. Anyway I miss my nephew. I hate his boys are without him. He was a good Mr. Mom when Audra was working or needed “me” time. Tank and Audra were not perfect but I think they complimented each other. They worked well together as a family. Tank was very mindful that being with the kids all day everyday was hard so he made a point to let her get her chill time. Most men don’t do that. I love the way he raised lil Tank, respectful, very well-mannered but with a lil street mixed in. That kid is every bit of his daddy. Ayden is a lil firecracker. He aint with no mess. Rest easy my nephew. Love you always
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